REJECTION FROM MY 2 YEARS OLD CRUSH

Yesterday, I took. My crush of almost 3 year out. The goal was simple; Enjoy the last moment of being vulnerable around him and also get feedback on getting on a relationship with him.

Back story, I met this guy at a hub in 2019 and I like him at the moment, I spoke to him and liked him even more.

But as I got closer, I realized I had feeling and when ever I talk about it he discredits my feelings.

Slowly it was affecting my self esteem. I started to feel like I was a bad person after all and till continue till yesterday.

We went on a date, I went late by the way, my Uber driver messed my plan.

First I wanted to know why he doesn't read my long messages but finds time to read books.. I wanted to know if I was truly not rated, and oh yes guys I was not.

Because right there he told me he reviewed a ladies design while waiting for me to come and he reviewed over 20 of them.. you can imagine.

To top it all he said he isn't sure he if likes me enough to forget his ex.

Lastly, I asked him if he is interested in having a relationship with me since I like him so much..

He told me he is not interested yet and he feels it shouldn't be my priorty..

For me it was crazy because he talked about focus but don't see defining relationship as focus.

The more I tried to press on, the more he made it clear he wasn't going to give me the answer the way I want it but the way he wants it.

Well I took NO for the answer and right now I want to forget every single memory of him and move on.

I came time in pains but also with peace that I am very sure that he doesn't want me.

The rules I have to get him out of my life is to 

1. Never talk about me to him

2. Treat him like a random friend

3. Never ask him about personal stuff

4. Never have a call over 5 minutes with him.

The rules should make me move on faster and channel my energy to someone else.

Another thing I also pray is to find love where I want to and not in someone I don't love...

And this 2021 should be the end of me meeting people who love me that that I don't love.

On this note I close this guy chapter never to open it again.

And you, I don't want to be his friend and confident. I want us abck to acquittance